Friday, December 07, 2007

Booze Cruise!

Earlier in the week (on a Monday, in fact), my office took a holiday booze cruise. Yeah, just like in "The Office". Except that ours was actually fun, sort of, in that everybody got falling down drunk, and I got to see some of my bosses embarrass themselves on the dance floor. And nobody got put in the brig.

This is what it looks like when you try to take a picture of your boat after having three vodka tonics and about six beers:

Can you at least see a vague outline of the shape of a ship? It was called the ZEPHYR. Which means, I dunno, "fast" or something. But this boat was not fast at all. So, false advertising.

This is what happens when you try to take a picture of the Statue of Liberty from your boat with your cell phone after one vodka tonic and about three beers:

Slightly less bad!

Anyway, that's basically the extent of my visual documentation of the experience. Most of my time was spent drinking vodka tonics and beer. And eating the avalanche of free food that kept putting itself in front of me in the form of servers walking around with little serving trays full of fatty, buttery hors d'oeuvre. First class all the way, baby! It actually was a pretty nice boat, though. And hey, free food and alcohol!

In previous years we'd had our parties at a bowling alley. Which sounds pretty low rent, but the bowling alley we used to go to (Bowlmor Lanes in Manhattan) is a pretty cool bowling alley. They have a full bar and restaurant, they've got neon-lit lanes at night and college student waitresses that roam around the alley dressed up in sexy little Santa elf outfits with mini-skirts and fishnet stockings. In fact, last time we were there, another company was having their party at the same time as us, and I ended up stealing a bunch of their food (by mistake! I thought it was ours).

But one of the girls at my office apparently had a pretty grotesque bowling injury some years back that left her permanently (though not seriously) scarred and she therefore had to sit out.
It sounds strange and funny, and in a way it is, but it's also serious. I won't recount the whole story here for privacy's sake, and also to spare you your lunch. Yeah, it's pretty gross. I'm sure it had some bearing on the movement of the party to a boat.

I wonder if people in other countries have these things. At my office, the holiday party is mandatory. In previous years, that's always been implied, and a few people did end up blowing it off. Those people are STUUUUUUUpid. With a capital "stu". It's all about face time and schmoozing. It's politics. It sucks, it's dumb, but what are you gonna do? It's the way the world works. This year, my company's CEO finally made it clear with an email entitled "Lest there be any doubt..."

Anyway, it's always fun to see a different side of your co-workers - nothing like seeing a guy you've worked with for four years suddenly bust out The Robot!

1 comment:

  1. Hey, how are you?
    I came across your blog searching "booze cruise", we're trying to plan a company one in a few weeks. What line did you use? Do you know if they sail in this season?
    Can you please contact me at

    And your comments were hilarious!


About This Blog

This is increasingly not a blog about Alphabet City, New York. I used to live in the East Village and work on Avenue B, but I no longer do. Why don't I change the name if I'm writing about Japan and video games and guitars? Because New Yorkers are well-rounded people with varied interests, and mine have gone increasingly off the rails over the years. And I don't feel like changing the name. I do still write about New York City sometimes.


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